"..I hope you hate yourself for this..."

If I died today,

It would really be the final good bye.

I no longer have the urge to live

The heart doesn't deserve anything that you give.

And like you say, "I have everything".

I wonder how does nothing feels like.

And the way you make me feel,

I don't think my scars will ever heal.

I hope you realize you are wrong.

I hope you see through this song.

I hope you hate yourself for this.

"She is happy"

I stand alone,

Even when everyone is around.

I know I'm being bound.

But, someone help me to move on.

A faith in humanity fades away,

But a hope holds me back.

It's just a smile that I fake,

Yet, "She is happy" you blindly say.

"..wishing for this life to end.."

Another day has passed.

And now it's in the past.

Another tear will glitter with a hope.

Pills, razor, poison or rope?

Every option,

Takes you to your destination.

He is still perplexed to see you sad.

Wondering "what's going on inside your head?"

You cry and he's speechless.

He doesn't understand why do you think that you are a mess?

She died and they left you.

You cried and someone groped you.

That night you lost your smile and even your voice.

Only Lord knows that it wasn't your choice.

When you used words to reveal the truth.

One thousand souls laughed at you; called you "a crazy little youth"

They will never know.

They will never understand.

They can never see that you're wishing for your life's end.

Story.

Listen to the silence.

They tell a story.

Story about you.

And, the people who left you.

Memories that haunt you.

In dark, cold-misty nights.

Nostalgia wraps its arms around you.

Sometimes comforting, sometimes suffocating.

You cry, you sigh.

You twist, you turn.
You smile, You laugh.
Then you remember,
There is a demon masked as an angel.
The one who groped your virgin skin,
Whose vile intentions,
Keeps killing you almost every night.

Reach for a razor, stick it to your skin.

Paint a new picture and

write the end of your story, your life.

P.S. That's not my hand.

I don't know anyone anymore.. They all seem strangers to me. May be I am feeling a bit too alone? I don't want to be an attention seeker by posting this here. I am not okay.. It's been a month now. I can't even concentrate on my studies. I screwed all my exams. My college friends are great but they live really far(literally more than 50 miles away). My best friend lives in Croatia. I don't feel like anyone cares anymore.. Don't think that my best friend cares either.. I am just so stupid. I am crying and typing this over here.. Don't know why? I really miss people who were once with me.. Everyone.. Even the ones I met over internet.. I just feel left out. When internet is your only social life. Things doesn't seem right.. I miss Raed, Juan, Prince, Manish, Saket, Sergi, Jake, Jasmine, Neeraj, Pratish, Srishti, Anubha, Darren, John, Rob, David.. and a lot of people.. Sunakshi di, you'll get mad at me if you read this.. I am sorry.. I'm sorry, I'm hiding stuffs from everyone. I am self harming again. It's going really wrong..

"..Last breath.."

I'm broken,

I'm shattered,

Plethora of emotions,

And, nostalgia,

Haunt me at nights.

Locked in my room in low lights,

I twist, I turn,

I don't know who I am.

I'm a truth,

I'm a lie,

I can never be something that you can hide.

I'm a mess but a little less,

I'm a freak, I'm sane.

I'm happy but in vain.

Slowly, I'm turning into a wreck.

My phobias are enchanting Euthanasia,

Another killing dilemma,

Give it all or give it up?

If I left, folks would start to gossip about.

Mystery of death,

And my last breath.

P.S. Eh, updating after 1 month.. :) Haha, I am still alive. My semester exams are on.  I screwed up EM but Chemistry went awesome. I am a bit relieved today. Heh, sorry for such a sad post. :P But, Merry Christmas People. :)

"falling for you.."

I'm falling for you,

'Know, this feeling is something new.

My eyes are all teary,

Oh, I'm sorry.

You never said you love me,

There's nothing that you can't see.

The reason why I breathe,

The reason why I still believe?

My heart keeps breaking,

to see the past fading.

I know, you won't be here,

We don't live closer either.

I'm falling for you, 

From head over heels,

 I'm being yours,

With every passing second,

I falling more and more,

in love with you.

But now, not anymore,

I am running after no one and being so sore.

And, everything you did was so special,

It was so warm like a winter cuddle.

I'm falling for you more,
than before,

Wish I had said "yes"
And, let angels to bless.

When you wanted me to be truly yours.

Happy 18th Birthday to me (:

Haha, so, it's my 18th birthday..and it's going amazing so far :) I had a really good time at college. I haven't even thought that it would be so great :) I love my best friend. Hehe. He has given me the best birthday present o: And, this guy from my class, he bought me a present :P

I love my friends, family and everyone who has made it so special ^_^